God Restores - Even in This!
Scripture Reference:
Job 19:25
I know that my redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand on the earth.
One of the most ironic moments of my life happened during my junior year of college.
After completing a few philosophy courses, I decided to enroll in a class called Job. At the time, I was not a Christian, and honestly, I had no idea the course was centered around the biblical book of Job. I still remember the textbook, a dark indigo blue with only one word across the front: Job.
A few weeks into the class, I realized two things:
this was not what I thought it would be…
and I was bored silly.
What I did not realize then was that while I was trying to avoid the story of Job, I was actually living it.
That junior year became one of the hardest seasons of my life. What once felt like occasional sadness and overwhelm slowly became clinical depression. No matter what good happened around me, joy could not seem to reach me. I was losing weight rapidly, struggling to eat, emotionally exhausted, mentally overwhelmed, and trying desperately to control whatever little I could.
I still remember one of my favorite professors, which is one of the reasons why I wanted locs and was not brave enough to do it, but I get to admire my daughter’s beautiful tresses…
Ok, back to the conversation with my professor.
Doc gently confronting me and saying something that stayed with me for years:
“You are losing a lot of weight – Is it on purpose?...I think you are trying to control your life by controlling what you eat.”
I said…oh, black people do that! I was so uninformed…
It was also the first time I sat across from a psychiatrist as an adult and was prescribed medication. I felt ashamed. I felt broken. I felt like my life was unraveling in every direction. Relationally, financially, emotionally, spiritually, mentally.
And honestly?
Part of me felt like I was being punished.
When I look back now, I realize God was loving me long before I knew how to love Him back. Even while I was a million miles and thoughts from Him, He was trying to point me toward a story that would one day save me: the story of Job.
Because Job is not just about suffering.
It is about restoration.
Job was faithful, yet still experienced devastating loss. He lost his children, his possessions, his health, and eventually found himself wrestling deeply with his faith. And what makes the story even more painful is that the very friends who came to comfort him eventually began accusing him.
“You must have done something wrong.”
“You must not be praying enough.”
“You must have made God angry.”
Doesn’t that sound familiar?
Sometimes when people are already hurting, others make suffering feel like a spiritual failure, and worst punishment.
“You wouldn’t be depressed if your faith was stronger.”
“You wouldn’t struggle with anxiety if you trusted God more.”
“You’re just lazy.”
And heaven forbid you tell people you have ADHD - “You don’t have ADHD…you lack discipline and have too much on your plate.” Thank you, Ma’am! Where did you get your medical degree from again? I’ll wait.
Some people would rather judge what they do not understand than sit with someone in pain.
But in the middle of Job’s suffering, before restoration ever came, Job declares something powerful in Job 19:25.
Not after healing.
Not after answers.
Not after things improved.
In the middle of the ashes.
That is what makes the story so beautiful to me now.
By the end of the book, God restores Job. Job 42 tells us that the Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life even more than the former. The man who once sat grieving in ashes eventually lived to see restoration, legacy, healing, and generations after him.
And maybe that is where you are today.
Maybe you feel stripped down by life.
Maybe you are exhausted from fighting battles nobody else can see.
Maybe you are carrying grief, depression, disappointment, fear, burnout, or shame.
Maybe the voices around you sound more like Job’s friends than the voice of God.
But hear me clearly:
God restores.
Not only can He restore..
He wants to restore.
So today, if you find yourself sitting in ashes like Job once did, get up slowly if you need to. Wash your face. Take a breath. Speak kindly to yourself. And remind yourself of what Job remembered in the middle of his suffering:
“My Redeemer lives.”
Prayer:
Father God,
You are a faithful Father. Even in this!
Even when I did not have a relationship with you, you were in relationship with me.
You guided through life’s challenges and navigating me to where I needed to be, even when it was not where I wanted to be.
Today, I trust that you not only see and know me, but you will restore me.
In Jesus name,
Amen.
